Breaking Free Read online

I can’t help the feeling of warmth spreading through my body as his eyes search mine.

  “Thank you, Seth.”

  The sound of a throat clearing makes us both jump, and Seth pulls his hand away from mine.

  I look over to see a woman in her mid-twenties with dark brown hair leaning against the doorframe, smirking.

  “Everything okay in here?”

  Seth jumps down and walks over to a set of towels hanging on the far wall. He picks one up and throws it over to me before he answers. “Yeah, Casey, we were just leaving.”

  Casey snorts before turning her back, mumbling about the gym not being a make-out spot for teens, which makes me blush. I’m glad my face is hidden behind the towel I was using to wipe the sweat off my face.

  “Want to go get something to eat? Maybe you can try the Osteen Diner?” Seth asks me, either pretending he didn’t hear Casey or choosing to ignore it.

  “Yeah, sure!” I jump up and throw the used towel in the hamper.

  We leave the gym waving bye to Jack, who is now back, and Casey, who is staring at us with a knowing look on her face.

  Chapter 18: Present

  On our way to the diner, I ask something that has been on my mind since we left the gym. “Do you want to know what happened that night?”

  He shakes his head gently. “I don’t need to know what happened if you don’t want to tell me. Okay?”

  I nod my head. “There might be another girl who was raped by Joshua.”

  “Do you know where she’s at?”

  “No. Nobody knows. She disappeared before I started school.”

  “Maybe she just moved away.”

  “Maybe.” But I have a feeling that she didn’t…

  “We’re here,” Seth announces.

  I look out the Jeep window to see a building with brown boards and crafts of various kinds scattered around the front end of it.

  “Interesting,” I say, staring at the chicken coop close to the entrance. “Are you sure it’s okay to eat here?”

  Seth lets out a chuckle. “I’ve eaten here many times. The food is awesome.”

  We exit the Jeep together quietly and head for the door, which Seth pulls open and lets me go through first. As soon as I pass through the doorway, I hear country music playing over the speakers and the smell of something delicious.

  “Hey, Seth! Welcome back! Oh, and you have someone with you today, I see.” A gray-haired woman comes from swinging double doors that lead to the back. Her uniform name tag reads Bridgette. She has a nice round face that reminds you of Mrs. Clause.

  “Yup. This is Paige,” he says.

  She stretches out her hand to shake mine. “Howdy and welcome to the Osteen Diner.” When she smiles. I see that she is missing several teeth. “Well, you know where to sit.” Bridgette turns her back to us, hurrying towards a customer who just raised a hand.

  “Come on, I sit over here.” Seth beckons me to follow him.

  We slide into a booth, and I look over the menu on the table.

  “I would order the waffle with whipped cream and strawberries on top for your first time,” Seth says to me, grinning. I notice that he didn’t look down at the menu.

  “You already know what you want?”

  “I already put the order in for you, Seth,” the voice of a girl states as she approaches the table.

  I look up and smile briefly at a girl with blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail, and tired brown eyes standing at our table. She is not wearing a name tag.

  “What would you like, miss?” I look at the menu and quickly tell her the waffle with the whipped cream and strawberries, and a coffee.

  She nods, then turns away and disappears behind the swinging doors that Bridgette came through earlier.

  “Who’s that?” I ask Seth.

  “Her name is Linda. She’s here every time I come, but she doesn’t say much to me.”

  Our food comes, and I stare down at the plate in front of me. The waffle is piled with whipped cream and strawberries. I smile at it. It can’t help but be a dish that makes you smile. I pick up a fork and knife and cut off a piece of the waffle.

  I slide the bite in my mouth, and my eyes pop open when the delicious, fluffy sweetness hits my tongue. Seth laughs across from me.

  Seth was right. This is great.

  Seth and I spent the rest of our time together in the diner. We were having such a good time just talking about one another that we didn’t realize how late it was getting outside. The staff at the diner didn’t even bother to come over to us after we got our food.

  “So, tell me,” I say, wiping my mouth with a napkin. “Why do you like old cars? Anne told me you are really into old classics.”

  Seth’s cheeks turn a slight pink. “I like antiques. I’m not sure what it is about them.” He leans toward me. “You know when you pick up something at a garage sale, and you can see in one glance that it’s old and battered-looking. It makes you wonder. What has it been through to make it look like that? And then you move it around in your hands, and you take a better look at it. Take away all the scratches and bumps and just really look at it. Then a question hits you in the face like someone smacked you. It used to be beautiful once, why can’t it be beautiful again? It just needs to be fixed, touched up, and it’ll look like it did before, only better.”

  Hearing Seth talk about his love for antiques makes me smile. “I never thought of that way.”

  Seth reaches across the table for my hand. “It’s almost like you. You’ve been broken, and you need to be fixed.” He flips my hand over in his and draws small circles on my wrist. “This thing…” He pauses. “This rape happened to you, and right now, you feel like you can’t heal from it. But I know you can.” His eyes connect with mine, making the breath leave my body. “What I learned from mending an antique is that it takes time and patience to make it better than it was before.”

  The sound of the bell over the door makes me pull my hand from his, breaking our connection. “So, um,” I clear my throat, avoiding his eyes. “What else do you like to do? Other than fix antiques, I mean.”

  “I love finding new places.” Seth doesn’t miss a beat. “A mystery in themselves.”

  “So, you mean like the gym and this hole in the wall diner?”

  Seth leans back in the booth and swings an arm over the booth’s wall, looking comfortable. “Yup. You know what I like most about finding new places? No matter what place I find, they seem to always help me at some point in my life. Like with the Baxter Gym. I wandered upon it when I was still in the beginning stages of thinking of joining the military. In a way, it was like telling me I needed to be in shape to join. You know?”

  I nodded my head. “Yeah, I get it. I don’t think the military will take you if you weigh over three hundred pounds in just fat.” I say, causing Seth to laugh.

  “No, I don’t think they will either.”

  “What about the diner? Has it helped you at all?”

  Seth shrugged his shoulders. “That remains to be seen.”

  Seth gets up from the table and throws a few bills down on the table. “Come on. Let’s go walk all this off.” He reaches his hand out to me, and I take it.

  Seth waves goodbye to Bridgette, and we head out the door.

  We walk away from the diner and his truck. Hand in hand.

  “So, what about the military makes you want to join?”

  “To be yelled at.” He jokingly says. “Mainly for the adventures that will come with it.”

  “It’s not as fun as you think it is.”

  “Really?” He stops to look at me.

  “Take it from a Navy brat. We have moved like ten times in over twenty years, and half the time I barely saw my dad. My mom was basically a single mom their whole marriage.” We continue walking. “I just found out that my mom has been visiting a therapist for years, and I never even knew. I never even guessed that not having my dad around could be hard on her. Hearing her tell me that makes me think back to all thos
e times I heard her crying in her bedroom when she didn’t think I could hear her. My mom is a lot stronger than I ever expected her to be.”

  “I thought about that. Not seeing my parents or Anne. But I know they will be there when I come back.”

  “And what if you don’t come back?”

  Seth says nothing for the longest time, and I wonder if he heard me. I open my mouth to repeat my question but stop myself. Maybe he doesn’t know that answer himself.

  “I think that’s why I’m afraid to tell my parents. Knowing them both, they won’t want me to, but it’s my decision, you know? If I don’t come back, I died doing something I loved. I would be okay with that, and as my parents who love me, they should understand that too.”

  “I think they will be proud of you.”

  He smiles over at me. “Thanks. Now enough about me. Tell me. Where are all the places you lived?”

  While I’m telling Seth about the places I have been, I realize that being with him makes me feel relaxed. I can be myself, and I can put whatever happened with Joshua behind me.

  Seth makes me feel like that night never happened.

  Chapter 19: Present

  “So, Seth. What brings your family here?” My mom gives me a quick glance from across the table as she passes the bowl of spaghetti towards my dad. He scoops some of it on his plate and passes it to Seth.

  “My mom writes speeches for senators. She got a job offer to move down here that she couldn’t say no to,” Seth replies, taking the bowl.

  “Really?” My dad says, intrigued. “I always thought senators wrote their own speeches.”

  Seth shakes his head. “Some do. Some prefer not to.”

  I take the bowl from Seth, and our hands collide, making Seth smile at me before he turns back to his plate of food.

  Even though we had eaten several hours ago at the diner, I was hungry all over again when we walked through the door and caught a whiff of my mom’s cooking.

  “Have you told your family about wanting to join the military?” my dad asks after he finishes with his plate of food.

  My dad doesn’t see the look of discomfort pass over Seth’s face. I interrupt Seth before he can say anything. “Dad tell us some stories about the time you were gone on deployment. I think Seth would like to hear about them.”

  This launches my dad into telling Seth about the time he was on a deployment that lasted nine months. Seth shoots me a thank you look. “I was having fun, but I couldn’t wait to get home to my girls.” My dad smiles warmly at my mom, who smiles back before she gets up from the table to clear it.

  “Hey, Mom, I got this. You go relax.”

  Seth stands up too. “I’ll help. My mom says it’s bad manners not to.”

  My mom’s face lights up. “Remind me to thank your mom for having a son with good manners.”

  My parents head for the living room, and Seth helps me bring the dishes to the kitchen. I turn on the water to rinse everything off. “You don’t have to help if you don’t want to.”

  “But I do. Besides, there’s a pile of homework waiting for me that I’ve been trying to avoid since Wednesday.”

  This makes a small giggle escape.

  A comfortable silence stretches between us as I rinse something, pass it over, and he places it in the dishwasher. I feel like the conversation we had today made us closer somehow.

  After the last dish is in the dishwasher and it is running, Seth lets out a disappointed sigh. “Guess it’s time for me to go home and tackle that homework.”

  “I’ll walk you out,” I tell him, drying my hands on a dishtowel.

  We walk out of the kitchen and head for the door. As we pass the living room, Seth stops and says, “Goodnight, Mr. and Mrs. Clearwater. Thank you for dinner.”

  “You’re welcome! Come back anytime,” my mom exclaims.

  When I open the door, a cold breeze hits me, making me shiver. “I thought Florida never got cold.”

  Seth laughs as he shuts the door behind us. “I heard Florida is bipolar when it comes to the weather.”

  “I believe it,” I say, walking beside him to his Jeep.

  We come to a stop beside the driver’s side door, and Seth faces me.

  “Thank you for today,” I say, avoiding his gaze.

  “Anytime. It was fun, actually. I don’t think I have talked as much with anyone before, even my best friend.” Seth smiles, bringing his hand up to scratch the back of his head.

  The air around us goes quiet. I get this overwhelming feeling to reach out and bring his lips down to mine, but before I can act on it, he talks again.

  “Listen, Paige.” He sighs. “My feelings for you are stronger than ‘just friends’ feelings.”

  My eyes snap up to his.

  “But after what you told me, I don’t want to push you into anything you wouldn’t want to do.” He slides his warm, calloused hands over mine, squeezing gently. “But, when you are ready, I will be here.”

  With that, he lets go of my hands and climbs in his Jeep. “I’ll see you bright and early Monday and don’t think that was our only trip to the gym. I plan to take you from now on until you are strong enough to knock my feet out from underneath me.”

  We smile at each other as he backs out of the driveway and heads home. I watch him go with sadness filling my heart.

  Will I ever be ready?

  I head back inside as a tidal wave of emotions hit me.

  Will I ever be able to trust another guy?

  Will I ever be able to put the past behind me?

  I’m not sure if I will ever be ready to let Seth in completely.

  As soon as I enter the house, I am bombarded with questions from my mom about Seth.

  “When were you going to tell me about your new boyfriend? This is so amazing! He’s amazing! Tell me you’re dating,” my mother demands.

  I roll my eyes and head for the stairs with her closely on my heel.

  “Suzie, leave her alone. She’ll tell you when she wants to,” my dad shouts from the living room, but my mom ignores him as she follows me.

  “He is not my boyfriend, Mom. He is just a friend. A good friend.” I smile to myself, thinking about today.

  My mom catches my smile in one of the mirrors on the wall. “If he’s not a boyfriend, then why are you smiling like that?”

  “Mom,” I groan.

  “Paige.” She grabs my arm to make me face her just as we reach my bedroom door. “This is the happiest I’ve seen you in weeks. Months, even. And you actually ate at dinner. Can you blame me for being somewhat overjoyed that you seem happy again?”

  I stare at her, seeing a mixture of sadness and relief.

  I breathe inwardly before exhaling slowly. “He really is just a friend and Anna’s brother. I promise you that if anything happens between us, you will know right away, but as of now, he’s just a friend.”

  My mom searches my face for a second before she leans in and gives me a kiss on the cheek. “I love you, girlie.”

  “I love you too, Mom.”

  My mom starts to turn away but stops halfway.

  “Oh, you have a therapy session this coming Thursday. I’ll pick you up from school.”

  My heart sinks.

  She smiles and heads back downstairs.

  I make my way to my bedroom, close the door, and walk over to sit on the edge of my bed.

  I don’t want to talk to anyone, much less a therapist. I have no idea what I am going to say to a therapist.

  I told Seth about what happened with Joshua, but I’m not sure I’m ready to tell anyone else.

  A ping on my phone jolts me from my thoughts. A smile spreads across my face when I see Seth’s name flashing on my screen.

  Seth: I wrote and rewrote this message about a dozen times. I haven’t even gotten out of the Jeep yet… I was going to ask you this question before I left, but I guess you can say I chickened out? Okay, here goes nothing. I want to know if you will go to the homecoming dance with me? No pressure.
It’s completely okay if you say no.

  My smile grows wider as I read to the end of the message.

  Another text message from him comes a few seconds later.

  Seth: Never mind. Forget I said anything. I hope you have a good night. Thank you for keeping me company today.

  I stare at my phone. I do want to go with him.

  I start to type out an answer when another text message comes through my phone.

  This one is not from Seth, but an unlisted number. My heart stills in my chest, and fear grips me as I open the message.

  Unknown: My pretty Paige. Seeing you all day with Seth nearly killed me. Did you go to the gym to try to get stronger than me? That will never happen.

  He sends pictures of Seth and me entering the gym and then leaving with smiles on our faces.

  Another text message comes in.

  Unknown: The diner was a nice touch for your first date. But it will be your first and your last if I have anything to say about it.

  More pictures of Seth and me laughing in the diner.

  My room starts to close in around me, making it hard to breathe.

  He was watching us all day, and I didn’t even notice. I didn’t even think to look around for him, and now he knows that I went out with Seth all day.

  The familiar sound of my phone going off makes me jump. My shaking hands open the new message.

  Unknown: You won’t ever be able to forget about me. This, I can promise.

  Just as pure terror races through my veins, I think of what Seth said today. ‘He might have taken a piece of you, but don’t let him take all of you. Don’t let him win.’ My heart slows down as I take deep breaths, calming myself down.

  He is right. I won’t and can’t allow Joshua to win.

  I open Seth’s message about homecoming and send a quick message back to him.

  Me: I would love to go with you to homecoming.

  Then without losing my nerve, I open Joshua’s text message and type out a message.

  Me: Wanna bet?

  My thumb hovers over the send button as I hesitate.

  I’m afraid of what will happen after I send this message. What will he do?

  But I shake my head and press send.